Sunday, September 14, 2008
Clarity, confusion, love and parenting
I have been SO nervous about this trip that we are taking this weekend.....Carrie has been a little nervous that I will be too preoccupied with how Dakotah is doing to have fun...I made a promise to myself that that would not happen. We need this trip! We need to have fun and remember why we fell in love. Parenting presents so many challenges and as a couple, we have found ourselves at times lost in the craziness of figuring out how to be the parents we we want be and while maintaining our lives as couple. At times, it has seemed impossible to do both but when you love someone the way that we love one another, you plug along day after day and do the best you can to figure it out. The demands of parenting are SO intense and so HUGE (can't think of a more articulate word at the moment) that there seems no other choice but to put your relationship on the back burner at times. Infancy demanded a lot of physical comittment and as a mama committed to attachment parenting, at the end of the day, I was TOTALLY exhausted and unable to give anymore of myself away. Now as the toddler years begin, not only are the physical demands still there (attachment parenting doesn't end in infancy):)!! but now there are mountains of emotional demands as we embark on the true development of Dakotah's personality. He is the most amazing, smart and FUN boy and I feel lucky EVERYDAY BUT at the same time, this "toddlerville" we have entered into is beyond exhausting some days and other days it's just plain ole' crazy.......and I am tired at the end of the day. I love being a mama but I also love being a partner and really want to find the time and the way to truly nurture both relationships at the same time without sacraficing one for the other....I WONDER IF THAT IS POSSIBLE.....??? I am so lucky to have a comitted, understanding partner that has allowed me (and us) to find the happiness in our lives and focus on the fortunes that have come upon us EVEN when it's not easy!!!!! AND TO ALL THE OTHER MOTHERS READING THIS...YOU ROCK!!!!!!!!!!! IT IS THE MOST AMAZING REWARDING AND CHALLENGING POSITION I THINK WE WILL EVER HOLD IN THIS LIFETIME........cheers!!!